Trying and Amazing Times

Well, you were forwarned, I am not good at keeping journals, diaries and as it would appear, blogs, which is ironic, since I have quite a passion for writing. I think it's the whole, doing it everyday part that doesnt work.
That and I have a very lively soon to be 1 year old toddler to chase around the house. I am constantly amazed by him. I've been reflecting a lot this last week at what a miracle he is. It's been a hard week for someone very close to me, losing a baby is something, as I know very well to be one of the hardest things to go through. I just learned that someone I was good friends with, and am learning to know again lost her babies and I can understand what they are going through, but I'm not in their shoes, I still know what it's like and I want to be there for them any way I can. I know they have many people to lean on and have God looking out for them, and as much as one can say "it's part of His plan", it doesnt make it that much easier no matter how faithful you are, you still lost something so personal.
We had tried for over a year for a baby, everyone around us was getting pregnant, we got pregnant and lost twice. We had resolved to just stop, we couldn't afford the medical options and had nearly resolved to not having any and then it happened. For the first few months I was terrified, you can't help but be when it happens again. And it was a rough pregnancy, being bedridden for a month then having this beautiful little person come into the world, but knowing he's too small and little and then the pain of having to leave the hospital and go home without him...praying so hard and finally, the day comes when he can come home.
And even through all that, the trials and tribulations, I would do it over a million times, knowing that in the end I would have a perfect little boy.
I think that if I hadn't gone through that, then I wouldn't have my Son. It will be a year ago this coming Sunday that I became a Mother, the thing I wanted most in this world and I am so blessed.
I just want my friends to feel the way I do. My bestfriend has an amazing little girl, but they were going to add to the family, I know they will again, but it's the hard parts inbetween...
They say it makes you stronger, I'm not sure that's true, but it made me closer to my faith and I learned that I can do and endure a lot more than I ever imagined I could.
I have changed and learned so much in the time that all this has taken place, I feel as if I'm a different person, a better person. I've learned so much about life, faith, people and friends and about who I want to be as a friend and Mother. These experiences as hard and amazing as they are, are what make you who are and for me, I couldnt change it, I wouldn't. (well, maybe the physical pain part...)
But to all my friends who are hurting right now, please know there is always someone there for you to lean on and trust that God knows what he's doing, even though it's hard for us to go through or understand, in the end it makes us better.