You never really know just how fast things can change and how precious life is until something happens. Early this AM a friend and coworker of my husband was killed in a motorcycle accident. I didn't know him that well, but many of my friends did and we are all hurting. I can only stand by and be there if any of them need me.
It just makes you reflect on things, I look at my little boy and the world seem right again, even if a fragile one. I know I have a responsibility to him and my husband to make sure my family is safe, at least as much as I have "control" over, of course God has a plan for everyone and for some reason that we may not understand, he needed our friend.
In other news and thoughts, I accepted a Catechist position at our church. This coming school year, I will be the new Kindergarten Catechist. I'm excited to teach again, even if only in a Sunday School setting, its been too long and I sort of miss it.
Well, it's time to de-stress from the day, pop in a movie and not think for a while.
Until next time,
Sarah
Friday, August 6, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Trying and Amazing Times
Well, you were forwarned, I am not good at keeping journals, diaries and as it would appear, blogs, which is ironic, since I have quite a passion for writing. I think it's the whole, doing it everyday part that doesnt work.
That and I have a very lively soon to be 1 year old toddler to chase around the house. I am constantly amazed by him. I've been reflecting a lot this last week at what a miracle he is. It's been a hard week for someone very close to me, losing a baby is something, as I know very well to be one of the hardest things to go through. I just learned that someone I was good friends with, and am learning to know again lost her babies and I can understand what they are going through, but I'm not in their shoes, I still know what it's like and I want to be there for them any way I can. I know they have many people to lean on and have God looking out for them, and as much as one can say "it's part of His plan", it doesnt make it that much easier no matter how faithful you are, you still lost something so personal.
We had tried for over a year for a baby, everyone around us was getting pregnant, we got pregnant and lost twice. We had resolved to just stop, we couldn't afford the medical options and had nearly resolved to not having any and then it happened. For the first few months I was terrified, you can't help but be when it happens again. And it was a rough pregnancy, being bedridden for a month then having this beautiful little person come into the world, but knowing he's too small and little and then the pain of having to leave the hospital and go home without him...praying so hard and finally, the day comes when he can come home.
And even through all that, the trials and tribulations, I would do it over a million times, knowing that in the end I would have a perfect little boy.
I think that if I hadn't gone through that, then I wouldn't have my Son. It will be a year ago this coming Sunday that I became a Mother, the thing I wanted most in this world and I am so blessed.
I just want my friends to feel the way I do. My bestfriend has an amazing little girl, but they were going to add to the family, I know they will again, but it's the hard parts inbetween...
They say it makes you stronger, I'm not sure that's true, but it made me closer to my faith and I learned that I can do and endure a lot more than I ever imagined I could.
I have changed and learned so much in the time that all this has taken place, I feel as if I'm a different person, a better person. I've learned so much about life, faith, people and friends and about who I want to be as a friend and Mother. These experiences as hard and amazing as they are, are what make you who are and for me, I couldnt change it, I wouldn't. (well, maybe the physical pain part...)
But to all my friends who are hurting right now, please know there is always someone there for you to lean on and trust that God knows what he's doing, even though it's hard for us to go through or understand, in the end it makes us better.
That and I have a very lively soon to be 1 year old toddler to chase around the house. I am constantly amazed by him. I've been reflecting a lot this last week at what a miracle he is. It's been a hard week for someone very close to me, losing a baby is something, as I know very well to be one of the hardest things to go through. I just learned that someone I was good friends with, and am learning to know again lost her babies and I can understand what they are going through, but I'm not in their shoes, I still know what it's like and I want to be there for them any way I can. I know they have many people to lean on and have God looking out for them, and as much as one can say "it's part of His plan", it doesnt make it that much easier no matter how faithful you are, you still lost something so personal.
We had tried for over a year for a baby, everyone around us was getting pregnant, we got pregnant and lost twice. We had resolved to just stop, we couldn't afford the medical options and had nearly resolved to not having any and then it happened. For the first few months I was terrified, you can't help but be when it happens again. And it was a rough pregnancy, being bedridden for a month then having this beautiful little person come into the world, but knowing he's too small and little and then the pain of having to leave the hospital and go home without him...praying so hard and finally, the day comes when he can come home.
And even through all that, the trials and tribulations, I would do it over a million times, knowing that in the end I would have a perfect little boy.
I think that if I hadn't gone through that, then I wouldn't have my Son. It will be a year ago this coming Sunday that I became a Mother, the thing I wanted most in this world and I am so blessed.
I just want my friends to feel the way I do. My bestfriend has an amazing little girl, but they were going to add to the family, I know they will again, but it's the hard parts inbetween...
They say it makes you stronger, I'm not sure that's true, but it made me closer to my faith and I learned that I can do and endure a lot more than I ever imagined I could.
I have changed and learned so much in the time that all this has taken place, I feel as if I'm a different person, a better person. I've learned so much about life, faith, people and friends and about who I want to be as a friend and Mother. These experiences as hard and amazing as they are, are what make you who are and for me, I couldnt change it, I wouldn't. (well, maybe the physical pain part...)
But to all my friends who are hurting right now, please know there is always someone there for you to lean on and trust that God knows what he's doing, even though it's hard for us to go through or understand, in the end it makes us better.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Breathing
Is there ever a time as a new(ish) Mom that you ever get to breathe again? I have a WONDERFUL little 6 and a half month old boy and he is great,but he constantly needs my attention. Not to mention the laundry, dishes and dinner that needs to be made with little to no help around the house. I love my husband, but honestly, he comes home from work and stays attached to the computer or Xbox for the rest of the night before giving his 15-20 minutes of "quality time" to the baby.
Its really frustrating, he gets to go take 2 hour baths and relax and I am going 800 miles an hour twenty-four hours a day. I'm the one who gets up with the baby, I'm the one who feeds him, bathes him, plays with him, feeds everyone does it all. I just wonder when will there be time for ME?
I wouldn't change being a Mom for anything in the world, but when I feel like I am doing it all myself it is just A LOT to do.
I also tend to feel like with all I do, I've accomplished nothing throughout the day. As I look around me I see that it seems like nothing has been done. I don't have a support system. I don't have my family to lean on, yes from a distance I do. But all of my family and my friends are 3000 miles away. I have a few friends here, but I don't see them a lot and it isn't the same dynamic I had at home, since I've moved nearly 5 years ago, I haven't felt like ME.
I feel like I've lost myself somewhere and when things pile up on me it just starts to snowball and I never get a chance to breathe.
Maybe someday, though I don't know when.
Its really frustrating, he gets to go take 2 hour baths and relax and I am going 800 miles an hour twenty-four hours a day. I'm the one who gets up with the baby, I'm the one who feeds him, bathes him, plays with him, feeds everyone does it all. I just wonder when will there be time for ME?
I wouldn't change being a Mom for anything in the world, but when I feel like I am doing it all myself it is just A LOT to do.
I also tend to feel like with all I do, I've accomplished nothing throughout the day. As I look around me I see that it seems like nothing has been done. I don't have a support system. I don't have my family to lean on, yes from a distance I do. But all of my family and my friends are 3000 miles away. I have a few friends here, but I don't see them a lot and it isn't the same dynamic I had at home, since I've moved nearly 5 years ago, I haven't felt like ME.
I feel like I've lost myself somewhere and when things pile up on me it just starts to snowball and I never get a chance to breathe.
Maybe someday, though I don't know when.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My little man did GREAT at the doctor today, he made her laugh so hard when Daddy put him on his shoulders and he started to crack up and drool all over his head. You just cant help but laugh when he laughs and he has started laughing at the most random things. I walked out of the hallway today and he started laughing, the kid is crazy! :o)
At 6months, he weighs 15.9lbs and is 25.25inches long, both in the twentieth percentile, but since he was a month early, he's still catching up, one thing that he DOESN'T need to catch up on is that noggin of his! He's in the 75th percentile with a circumference of 45 inches! A big ol smart brain! He's ahead and or right on track developmentally and nearly everything! My big boy is getting so, well, BIG! He cried at his shots, but when I gave him a hug he stopped right away, he's a brave one!
We are now home and are settling in, it's started to snow AGAIN, can I just say that I think it's Groundhog hunting season?! I am so friggin ready for the spring, but that damned hog saw his shadow! We are expecting 4 inches tonight and more on the weekend. I was/am supposed to get to VA Beach this weekend for a friends wedding, but I don't know if we will make it now and that makes me sad. Finally a friend from home is fairly close to me and I cant get to her because of the damn snow! It's been ruining my plans since December! I've had to cancel 2 parties and now this! I am writing a strongly worded letter to Jack Frost! This sucks!
On the plus side the hubby and I are anxiously awaiting the return of LOST for the final season. I'm excited, yet sad to see it go, but I am so ready for some questions to finally be answered, I hope. Though they are not the best at resolving things...so we'll see!
Well, I think this is all for now. Gotta keep an eye on baby, he gets fevers after shots.
Talk atcha later!
Sarah:o)
Monday, February 1, 2010
Inspiration
Hello!
Well, one of my favorite people in the world has decided to start a blog, I'm sure she will be much more successful at keeping up with it than I am; I've never been able to keep a diary longer than a month, so wish me luck.
What will I write about? Hmmm, I guess the Julia Child recipe thing has been done and I'm really not that interesting, but I do have things I'd like to say and share whether or not anyone reads my scattered thoughts is to be determined, but my hope is to be able to share ideas and thought and perhaps an anecdote or two. I am looking forward to seeing what people will have to say!
On another note, today is my baby boy's 6 month birthday. It's amazing to think its been that long already! When people say it goes by fast, they weren't kidding! We've waited so long for him to get here and now that he's here it's incredible how my life has changed and everything is about him. He doesn't know that of course, but being a Mom has been something I have wanted all my life and now it's my turn, God has let me have a chance and I am SO grateful! He amaze me everyday. I cannot get enough of seeing him learn new things and his smile and laugh melts my heart. Everyday is a challenge and a blessing. Tomorrow is his 6 month doctors appointment, so we shall see just how big he is and how long!
Considering I was in the hospital for 20 days with Preeclampsia before he was born and he was born 4 weeks early and in the hospital for 15 days after his birth at 5lbs. 8oz. at 9:09AM in the morning by emergency c-section, he is truly a miracle and a damn cute one too!
Happy Birthday, Patrick! Mommy Loves YOU!
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